"I believe in women." emmeline b wells

I am a Mormon feminist. Surprise!

It shouldn't be, but often is, a surprise to many that those two words could be set side by side to describe the same person. Some members of the modern church hear feminist and a voice inside screams apostate!! While at the same time many, if not most feminists believe that no one who remains inside a faith tradition so steeped in patriarchy in both doctrine and culture should dare call themselves a feminist.

Well here I am. I exist. Still learning and deciding what it means to me to be myself and a woman and a Mormon. The love and faith and generations of DNA that called me into existence believed in God, and so do I. When I look for my potential, my purpose, and my guide as a follower of Christ, I gain courage and endless inspiration  reading about my strong and diverse sisters who also believed; biblical, pioneer, and modern. My head and heart are filled with their stories, and I feel humbled to follow after.

Jesus's treatment of women was against cultural norms. He seemed to be able to see women in a different way than most. But the history of Christianity has for many reasons not been so kind to women. What we have in the Bible was written by men, and so edited and recast that it is hard to see in it what and how ancient women were really regarded, be it Deity or mortal. The early days of Mormonism, while filled with incredibly difficult things for me to understand regarding women, was also proudly the home of radically positive and expansive ideas concerning the role of women in society, the value and wisdom of mother Eve and her daughters (quite possibly THE most positive paradigm-altering teachings thus presented to Christianity), and the ability for women to rise to any occasion, calling, or requirement given them. Early Mormon women were practical, faithful, resilient, and quick to defend and fight for the rights and comforts of their sisters. They fought for the vote, presided over their own meetings, and ministered mightily one to another.

Then something happened.

These Mormon women who gave blessings of healing to their sisters were asked to stop. The structure of the institution re and re organized, and all things ultimately became correlated, consolidated,  and presided over by men. The knowledge of their worth and ability was not lessened, but the type and scope of their function within the church, was.

Mormon women are not oppressed, discounted, and miserable, as a whole.  Do not believe that for one second if you read it (and you may) in some article someday about Mormonism. They perform within the church and in their own lives incredible feats of service, compassion, balance, and love. I have been blessed my whole life by these complicated wonderful creatures. But they are simply not equally involved in leadership, ritual, or ministry.

A few bright blouses amid a sea of black suits stares at us from the stand every general conference, our highest levels of leadership. Shrunk down to a more local level, the ratios are slightly better, but no women in any Stake Presidency, High Council, or Bishopric, means that in every council meeting, women are far outnumbered, and in general the outnumbered feel less inclined to talk, disagree, or offer unsolicited advice. (With the exception of some very vocal and opinionated R.S. presidents.) The thing is, the men in these positions are most always wonderful, humble, and hard working. It is the structure than needs shifting. Without more women's voices, the true needs of half the members are not as likely to be understood or therefore met.

Young Women (besides feeling awkward having to discuss very personal matters alone in private meetings with their Bishop--poor bishop too!) start to see and feel they play a lesser role in their church, both as 12-18 year olds and as future women. They and we are constantly told by our leaders that we are wonderful, beautiful, important, valiant, and virtuous. But I would love to be told instead "We understand it is difficult. You are not all perfectly faithful, strong, or loving.  That doesn't make you less womanly or less Mormon. Things don't always make sense. We're seeking to understand more about our Mother in Heaven and what role we can prepare ourselves for and how. Let us work together to be better and understand more".

How I ache to know more of my Heavenly Mother. How I wish the scriptures, the conference Ensign, my head, were filled with gospel teachings of women in near equal part to men.

I want it to be better, and believe it can. The one most hopeful hope I hold is that from all I have felt, God sees me as an equal to my brothers, even if our role down here is yet to be fully revealed or recorded. I believe the church was established to help us become. It is there to support us in our individual journeys to becoming better and growing our faith. Things are changing. And, good news! Mormonism was founded on and believes in asking, in changing, and in restoring truth as quickly as we are ready to receive it.

Here is a bit of pre-conference reading, if you have the time. In regards to women and the priesthood.

On asking

On loving

On change

Interview with Cheiko Okazki (former counselor in the general R.S. presidency)

"It is the opinion of many who are wise and learned that woman’s mission upon the earth is maternity, with its minor details, its accompanying cares and anxieties, and needful exigencies; that these fill the measure of her creation; and when this is done, she should with becoming matronly dignity, retire from the sphere of active life and gracefully welcome old age. … That motherhood brings into a woman’s life a richness, zest and tone that nothing else ever can I gladly grant you, but that her usefulness ends there, or that she has no other individual interests to serve I cannot so readily concede."

Emmeline B. Wells, 1875