envy no-one, copy no-one

It's a strange mix of tiresome and addicting. We have this inherent interest in the lives of others, which is no doubt a very good thing. It is both good and helpful to see how others are living their lives, read thoughts and things appreciated, see pictures of places we may never go.

But heck.

Sometimes after even six minutes of blogs or Facebook, you end up feeling like you are simply un-creative, un-traveled, un-educated, un-interesting, an awful cook, and a horrible mother to boot. You know this is not true. Sort of.

His name is Eric

I am writing about my husband tonight, and here's why: He is a brave, good soul.

He inspires me to face the things that plague me as well as the things I want, and do something about it.

I sat on warm cement steps today in the somewhat chilly October air and couldn't help but notice how similar a feeling the kind of love I feel with and for him is to that moment:  Anna pushing her tiny wooden car slowly along the edge and me hugging my knees to my chest, filled with happy and sunlight.

The darkness, processed nature, and futility of so much around us makes it difficult to appreciate these moments, and in some cases makes it seem foolish to hope for, nourish, and insist on such a pure and warm love. I am a witness: it is real, it is possible, and it is what makes life worth living.

We are not a story book couple, though at times I feel like I should write a book about our story. Alongside our thick brown love, we have both caused each other acute and lengthy hurt, for various reasons and seasons of our life. We both have learned to forgive. We have grown together and individually, and there is no other who I respect more or dare to be as silly or as serious in their company.

Looking back to the 18 year old me looking into the clear blue 18 year old Eric, we had absolutely no idea. We were magnets, irresistably pulled together but not entirely sure why.

We, neither of us, claim perfection. But we have both, both of us, learned to forgive. And we both know and choose and feel the love we share and create between us is the most valuable thing we have.

"If you want something you've never had before, you're going to have to do things you've never done."

Food.

I'm not going to say much about this. It speaks for itself.